I’ve been worrying about Lisa LaFlamme for the last week. I haven’t lost any sleep over the situation. Oh no, I’m sleeping okay. And I’m definitely not off my food. If only there was something that could make me say no to donuts. But of the sixty to seventy minutes in the day that I’m actually conscious, I’d say ten percent of that I have spent worrying a lot about Lisa LaFlamme. If you haven’t been paying attention to the latest Breaking News regarding veteran CTV National News anchor LaFlamme and her unceremonious invitation to Break News anywhere other than CTV, I congratulate you. You must be enjoying your summer, perhaps with your nose stuck in a wine glass as you swirl, sniff and pick out the notes of cherry, dark chocolate, pepper and just a hint of wet cat. However, if you’re a woman who’s had some experience living on a planet that has men on it, then you may also be experiencing all the feels for Ms. LaFlamme. And I’m guessing your emotions are running from mild indignation to outright BURN DOWN THE PATRIARCHY, due to what appears to be a reason, if not the reason for her dismissal. What could that be you ask? Did she spit at children on a tour of the newsroom? Did she get blind drunk on Prosecco and kick the company president’s prized Labradoodlecockashitz? Did she rip the heads off all of Ben Mulroney’s Progressive Conservative bobblehead collection? As much as I would have LOVED to see her do ANY of those, especially the last one, it was none of the above.
Here’s the scoop; Lisa LaFlamme had the audacity, the nerve, the unmitigated gall to let her hair go GRAY! That’s right. During Covid she did what many women did, as they sing in Frozen, she let it go. And it seems her natural colour did not pass the Loving Care shade test for a senior exec who, in the presence of actual other human beings with ears, actually allowed this sentence to actually slither out of his mouth, “Who approved the decision to let Lisa’s hair go gray?” Ladies I’ll just give you a few moments to stop choking the male closest to you. It’s okay, you can remove your hands from his neck. Yes I know he’s a man, but I’m sure he’s not this particular man, unless he is that particular man, and then hey, never leave a job unfinished.
But seriously, I don’t want to say there’s so much to unpack here, because it’s an overused expression, and also ‘unpacking’ makes it seem like it’s just a suitcase sized, possibly a small carry-on bag of issues that needs to be emptied, when I think it’s more like a container ship of grievances that has pulled in to port.
First and foremost, it goes without saying, but let me say it anyway…The ONLY person who is allowed to approve Lisa LaFlamme’s, or any woman’s hair, is the woman who has the hair!
Next (this is the loaded container ship) women are furious about this because they are tired of being told by men how they should look, behave, or sound. And it starts early. When I was about seven years old, after I tried out some early, albeit unpolished, comedy material while guests were visiting, my Father told me that little girls should be seen and not heard. He also convinced me to have my ears pinned back when I was eight because they stuck out a bit, like his, and he told me that I’d never be able to put my hair up, or go out on a windy day because of my Dumbo ears! He didn’t call them Dumbo ears, that’s me, but the inference was there. It was made clear to me early on, that just being myself was less than desirable. Making things even worse, in my early 20s I had a relationship with a man I now affectionately call Damien 666. He was in a miserable mood one day, and blamed that on me for getting my hair cut really short! This was a guy who was always carrying extra weight, and yet didn’t hesitate to tell me that I was packing on the pounds. And that’s the tip of the iceberg. I know I’m not alone, and there are worse stories than mine.
Now add the entertainment industry to that. Okay, we’re talking news here and I am definitely not a journalist so can’t really comment except that I think we all know it’s been flirting with the entertainment side for a long time. I can tell you women in the business have billions of infuriating stories. I have a few of my own, perhaps for another day. What women are reacting to with this incident is that this woman, who has performed her job in an exemplary way for years, was treated differently than the men who came before her, because of her appearance. Well, let’s compare.
LaFlamme took over the anchor chair when venerable and dehydrating Lloyd Robertson retired, of his own free will, at the age of 77! I’m sure Lloyd’s a decent sort, but he remained in the captain’s seat long after he started dying his hair some strange sort of colour concoction that might have been called Medical Test Urine. Also, I think he was doing some kind of Trump-like spray tan thing, leaving that telltale white mystery ring around the eyes. But most annoying, he was allowed to deliver the nightly news long after he started to sound like he’d had six shots of tequila before each newscast. He had slurry old guy mouth. He couldn’t really get through any story without at least one sentence sliding all together to the point of, in my opinion, hilarious incomprehension. As a matter of fact, my late husband did an impression of just that on our long-ago TV show.
Compare that to Ms. LaFlamme, twenty years younger, extremely attractive, and most importantly, like Lloyd, has all the journalistic cred to fill that position. So, was she treated differently because she was a woman…with gray hair? Well, if it walks like a TV executive and it quacks like a TV executive, then I say yes, she was screwed by a ducking TV executive.
Well let’s take a look at just how offensive this woman’s hair is…
I mean, what the heckity heck?! She looks incredible! And she definitely does not sound like she’s had multiple tequila shots, although she sure deserves to throw a few back right now.
And can we remind ourselves about some other incredible women who’ve gone au natural…
I don’t need to explain anything about these ladies. All fabulous.
And then there’s this goofball…
…Yes, I’m eating, and after writing this blog, I am actually eating my emotions. Obviously, I am also in the Silver club, and have been for a long long time, way before the young kids made gray hip. I found my first gray hair on my 19th birthday! I’ve had plenty of time to get used to it. I did leave it alone for a long time, and then I started to cover it, but in the end it just seemed to be a losing battle, and I had a great hairdresser who started to work with the silver and the dark, but make no mistake, most of my hair is silver. Ultimately it works so much better with my face. And I’m not bragging, but everywhere I go, people tell me how much they love it. Women my age, young women, young men, and believe me, at 63 that is a tingly thrill. And so, from my strictly anecdotal evidence, I’m guessing that most everybody loved Lisa’s hair. And if ratings were down, it wasn’t because of her hair. Management, everyone’s looking at you. So let’s get Lisa back in the anchor seat, if not at CTV, then someplace where they treat everyone decently.
And I say if you want to let your hair go with nature, do it. Enjoy it! And definitely don’t let anyone, especially a man, suggest it diminishes you as a vital human being. As I’m sure many people have told the unfortunate CTV exec, it’s what’s going on underneath the coiffure that counts.
Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I have to finish my donut and go back to sleep.
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Photo credits:
Lisa LaFlamme – Creative Commons via YouTube
Judi Dench – Caroline Bonarde Ucci, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Emmylou Harris – Eric Frommer, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Helen Mirren – Harald Krichel, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Jane Fonda – Siebbi, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Linda Cullen by Jessica Timmins Venturi
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