![\"Rudy](\"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Rudy_Giuliani.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nBut while my case is being prepared by my legal Guardians of the Alternate Universe, I have a bit of free time, so I thought this might be another good opportunity to record some more of my pointless pontificating.<\/p>\n
Let me start my rambling with this; having a birthday anywhere near the Christmas season is kind of pointless, and it\u2019s obvious to me I should have chosen a date much more anything-but-December-like.\u00a0 It\u2019s the worst time of year to try to get people to come to a party because everyone is so wrapped up with finding the perfect gifts that have to be all wrapped up.\u00a0 And yes, they had the exact same problem at the original Christmas birthday.\u00a0 I have it on good authority that Joseph and Mary sent out hundreds of invites, but look who showed up, three guys, a donkey and a cow, and I think the cow already lived there. \u00a0I hear they had awesome goody bags too.\u00a0 But that\u2019s how it goes.<\/p>\n
Of course, in this current festive season of plague, there are so many reasons for zero party.<\/p>\n
#1- Totally against the rules<\/p>\n
#2- Everybody\u2019s too busy sanitizing themselves or too busy fighting crowds at the grocery store for the last packet of yeast or too busy trying to think up believable excuses to get out of all the family Zoom chats.<\/p>\n
My parents made me aware at a very young age just how tough it was to get anyone to commit to a party, but I didn\u2019t believe them.\u00a0 Here\u2019s a photo of me trying to call people myself to invite them to my shindig.\u00a0 I can tell you there are no photos of a party from that year, so pretty sure my attempt was futile.<\/p>\n
A few years later, after I threatened to lodge a human rights complaint because of an absence of Birthday Party effort, Mom & Dad scrambled to find at least a few who were available to help me blow out candles\u2026<\/p>\n Let me just say one thing about this\u2026 I had a LOT more dolls than that.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Christmas birthdays are tough.<\/p>\n Speaking of our common pandemic predicament, I\u2019ve discovered, over these past 9 months, that I have a disturbingly infinite capacity for sitting, immobile on the couch.\u00a0 I look back at this vast stretch of time and I think \u2018What the Sam Elliott have I accomplished?\u2019\u00a0 Absolutely nothing!\u00a0 Well, okay, not nothing.\u00a0 I did use part of the time wisely, and exercised my brain, as has been recommended by doctors, and so I learned which Property Brother was Jonathon and which was Drew.\u00a0 But that only took me\u2026well, to be honest, that literally took me all of the 9 months, but I did it and now I know the difference, as long as they don\u2019t change their hair.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve also become aware of how much more you worry during this time.\u00a0 You worry about touching things.\u00a0 You worry about breathing in.\u00a0 You worry about breathing out.\u00a0 You worry about being too close to strangers, and too far away from loved ones. \u00a0You worry about wearing a mask that doesn\u2019t match your shoes.\u00a0 And then one day, when I actually managed to get up from the couch, to go sit at the computer, I was mindlessly clicking on stuff, and I stumbled upon something I\u2019d never heard of before, rhabdomyolysis.\u00a0 A condition where if you exercise too much, your muscles liquify and you pee them out!!\u00a0 That\u2019s right!\u00a0 Something worse than Covid, peeing your muscles out!\u00a0 So now I was terrified of that!\u00a0 What if it happened suddenly, like I\u2019m in a grocery story, and boom, my muscles just gush out, and now I can\u2019t drive home, because I have no MUSCLES!\u00a0 And then I just gave myself a slap, and realized this was not something I would have to worry about, because I will never, ever, exercise too much.\u00a0 And then I lay down on the couch again.<\/p>\n In my view, there is only one solution to all this; get that vaccine in us.\u00a0 And the moment I\u2019m allowed to have it, I will get it stuck in wherever they want to stick it.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t care if Bill Gates has put a chip in it to track me.\u00a0 Put 10 chips in.\u00a0 Please, track me going to buy broccoli. \u00a0Or toilet paper. \u00a0Track me while I have a mammogram.\u00a0 Track me while I\u2019m getting my teeth cleaned. \u00a0Track me while I\u2019m plucking out those menopause chin hairs.\u00a0 \u2018Cause yeh, that\u2019s how fascinating my life is.\u00a0 Put anything you want in that vaccine Bill. In fact if you need a place to store your golf clubs, put them in the vaccine and stick it in me.\u00a0 I will happily walk around clanging like The Tin Man filled with hybrid wedges, if it means I can walk around freely and get together with people I miss so much.\u00a0 This is what I want for my birthday.\u00a0 And that\u2019s what I wish for everybody\u2019s Christmas and upcoming birthday present, because then, maybe by next Christmas we\u2019ll be able to get back to doing all those normal things that we miss so much, like gathering together, hugging and kissing, and licking the salsa off the tray at the food court\u2026 or is that just me?<\/p>\n Anyway, it\u2019s time for me to stop yammering, because I see my legal eagle Rudy has been over in the corner tucking his shirt in for the last 20 minutes, so I\u2019m hoping that\u2019s a sign I\u2019ve won my case.<\/p>\n If you have a birthday this month, I hope it was or is as happy as possible.\u00a0 And as far as this Corona Christmas is concerned, well, I\u2019m just going to do what I\u2019ve always done; put on some chic PJs, a smart dressing gown, grab my most stylish handbag and portable bathroom and just make the best of it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Photo Credit: Alert the authorities!\u00a0 Something terrible has happened!\u00a0 Another year slithered past me, and apparently, according to the Julian calendar, I\u2019m turning 62!!\u00a0 I clearly remember stating the last time this happened that really, I\u2019m good. \u00a0No need for another one. \u00a0I mean, there have been so many now, that yeh, I get the drift of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":466,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-459","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-uncategorized","8":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/459","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=459"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/459\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":470,"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/459\/revisions\/470"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lindacullen.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>Stay safe my friend.<\/p>\n
\n
\n<\/em>Rudy Giuliani by Marc Nozell from Merrimack, New Hampshire, USA<\/a>, CC BY 2.0<\/a>, via Wikimedia Commons<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
![Marc Nozell from Merrimack, New Hampshire, USA<\/a>,](\"https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File:Rudy_Giuliani_(2167875970)_(cropped).jpg\"){kind=link}